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See you guys next month/week/year!
"Whoa whoa whoa...wait a minute."
Who are you?
"Blogging commissioner."
Oh. Wait, seriously?
"Yes. And according to the laws of Blogger, this isn't a full sized, regulation post. You keep this up, we'll shut you down, and wind up in blogger jail."
Alright, that's preposterous. There's no such thing --
"--As blogger jail? Of course there is. Don't be silly. See these blogging cuffs? And this blogging billy club?"
Those look like a normal pair of cuffs and a normal billy club.
"They are. Except they take you to blogger jail."
Okay, okay. Fine. I'll do this post for real. No cutting corners in an effort to save time. But only because you're annoying, and not because I fear any sort of "blogger jail".
Hello everyone! Long time no post. Again. My fault as usual. See, I'm terrible at proratizing. Thus, I end up devoting my time to things that are not the blog or running or really anything of great consequence. There's a reason for that, though. There's a reason I've been reading the same book for over a month when I should have finished it weeks ago. That reason, aside from the inclination that I may have always had ADD, is I've been spending a lot more time playing video games. It's been a long time since I've seriously played video games, and I'm at it again. Losing myself in game fantasy land and, as a result, losing my time.
See, I was pretty sure I got over video games. I continued to own and every so often play my Super Nintendo. Once every couple months I'll play the Playstation 2 my dad bought five years ago and gave up on playing. But mostly, I spent my time in other things: Work, reading, running, hanging out with friends, etc. I became an adult. A balanced, human adult.
Incorrect. Below the layers, I am, and will always be, a nerd (and/or child). The time just has to be right to strike. First, it started with me buying Half-Life 2 online for my laptop. I haven't really played games on my laptop. Given, a few hours will be lost to Plants vs. Zombies (I freakin' love that game). Mostly, I wanted the laptop for internet, music, upload photos and videos, and maybe write. Didn't care much if it was a gaming machine. But ever since Half-Life 2, I've been losing hours of time. Sometimes I forget what day it is.
Now, for Christmas, my parents decided we each get a little bit of money and buy ourselves something. My father, a few pedals for his guitar and a pedal board. My mother, one of the Rosetta Stone programs. Myself...an Xbox 360 bundle including Fable III, Halo Reach, three months of Xbox Live free, and a $60 gift card for Gamestop (Which I've used to purchase Batman Arkham City). Of the litenany of things I could have bought, I bought a new video game system. I've already spent many hours running around as Batman.
So, to answer your question (the long way) of "Where has Michael been?": Being Batman. And shooting aliends in Half-Life 2.
But, how can you blame me? The graphics look beautiful! These new games are mind numbingly awesome! And I remember when Nintendo 64 was cutting edge. Now it just looks like a bunch of blocks.
Now, to bring you up to speed. Quickly.
I turned 25 finally last Thursday. Which reminds me...Aunt Pegge? Thank you for the card. I loved it. And don't fret about it's tardiness. I do believe that I am LONG overdue on a response to a letter. If I could just simply sit my butt down and get to it. Obviously, I'm distracted by less important things. It is coming though.
Also, Chalice Press (you know, the place with the window?) has decided it's within their budget to keep me on for another six months as a temporary employee. I'm still part time, but they've bumped up the pay a bit. Great news to hear, and with that bit of news I decided I don't need Teavana. I still won't be making much money at Chalice, but I decided Teavana is no longer a place I need to be. It's like Azkaban there. You wind up there, and you're kinda stuck there. Or at least I felt stuck, and working retail in a mall is kinda soul sucking. Especially this time of year. Basically, I can no longer justify being there. If I don't plan to move up the corporate rock wall within Teavana, then I should probably stop wasting everyone's time (myself included) and find something worth while. Time to move on, move forward. Figure it out. Hopefully.
I think that's what you've missed. You should all be in the know now.
I trust everyone had a spectacular Christmas. New Year's is coming up, and I hope everyone has a great one. Also, the blog is turning two in a couple days, if I'm correct. He'll be saying "no" and running around pulling things off tables in no time.
Take care, lovely talking with you. Keep in touch. Newcomers, continue reading the blog. I plan on not disappointing. Except for the Velociraptor. I totally got everyone on that one. That was just to insure everyone would read this. Ha.
Peace.
Showing posts with label Teavana. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Teavana. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Time Travel at Normal Speed.
Well, I don't know what brought you to do it, but you wound up back here. I appreciate it. It makes me think, "Oh man, I am really cool and some people think I'm both funny and a genius." Some people in this life don't really get to feel that way. Unless he/she is really pretentious and in love with him/herself. Which, the case still may be that deep down inside he/she actually feels inadequate and needs to make up for that by pretending to be funny and a genius. I don't know. I'm not a psychologist.
I'm not a lot of things. Have you figured that one out yet? Right, of course you have. Right now I'm a guy in his fuzzy pajama-jam pants and t-shirt, drinking Sakura Allure green tea (one of the new installments to the Teavana selection), and listening to Dredg's "The Pariah, The Parrot, The Delusion". Comfy day after Halloween.
Unsure of what to post this week, but I had a few ideas. Let's roll with one of them.
Now, as some of you may or may not know, I was once a fat kid. That thing to the left? Fat kid. Fourteen years old. Spring of eighth grade, 2001. As you can tell, I wasn't really socially conscious, either, which didn't really help my weak, adolescent self-esteem, which I can go more in depth on another time with both funny and scarring anecdotes. And my looks? I don't even think the 90's would've allowed it (and they did allow a lot). First of all, I'm wearing a ridiculous early 90's Hawaiian shirt ("But Michael, how do you know it's from the early 90's?" "Because It was once my father's and he got it when we went to Hawaii in 1991. I wore it back then because I thought Hawaiian shirts were 'in'"). I also had quite the bowl cut for many years. Glance over to exhibit B.
Exhibit B.
(The only way you can make this cuter is if you were to staple new born kittens to this child.)
Yeah, ever since I was a tot I was graced with a golden bowl atop my crown. And pinchable cheeks. Which, however you look at it, could be a blessing, or something you wish you could do away with altogether so that people wouldn't think your six years younger than you are (See "How I Spend My October" for an in depth explanation).
The point of all of this being is that, yesterday morning, at about 7 am Central Standard Time, I registered myself for the GO! St. Louis Marathon, something I've been anticipating to accomplish for about a year. Now, as you may remember, loyal followers, I did mention in "Going the Extra Mile" that this is one of my life goals. After I realized a year ago that I can run more than a couple miles at one time, I figured I could continue to add on the miles. A marathon will just be a very drawn out, two mile run. I'm excited, but mostly terrified. I may or may not die. This may be the last thing I accomplish in life. If this is so, speak with Phillip Freeman. He knows best on how to prepare my funeral. There will be a cake and everything.
But in all seriousness, I'm really excited about training and actually going through with it. A lot of the things I actually accomplished in my life that were notable I was pressured into doing. Maybe pressured isn't the right word, but I was coaxed to accomplish certain goals that weren't necessarily completely my own. This goal, though, is mine. No one told me to do it. I'm completely choosing to do it, and the reward from that feels even more special. Then again, perhaps that smiling fat kid in picture one is actually telling me to do it. "You've got this far. You've rearranged yourself so that you'll never be this again. Keep going. Keep growing." He probably doesn't care. If he were here to speak with me he would ask, "Sooo...do you get a lot of girls now?" I would then sit him down and fill him in on a lot of things. Not just girls, but his future and my past in general. But mostly about women. I need to prepare him for the things that are about to happen to him.
Now, you take all of what I said, think about it for a half hour, then just forget about it and move on with life like you normally do. But remember! Be back here next week. Surely there will be more luscious word gold to wade through.
Until then.
I'm not a lot of things. Have you figured that one out yet? Right, of course you have. Right now I'm a guy in his fuzzy pajama-jam pants and t-shirt, drinking Sakura Allure green tea (one of the new installments to the Teavana selection), and listening to Dredg's "The Pariah, The Parrot, The Delusion". Comfy day after Halloween.
Unsure of what to post this week, but I had a few ideas. Let's roll with one of them.
(The only way you can make this cuter is if you were to staple new born kittens to this child.)
Yeah, ever since I was a tot I was graced with a golden bowl atop my crown. And pinchable cheeks. Which, however you look at it, could be a blessing, or something you wish you could do away with altogether so that people wouldn't think your six years younger than you are (See "How I Spend My October" for an in depth explanation).
The point of all of this being is that, yesterday morning, at about 7 am Central Standard Time, I registered myself for the GO! St. Louis Marathon, something I've been anticipating to accomplish for about a year. Now, as you may remember, loyal followers, I did mention in "Going the Extra Mile" that this is one of my life goals. After I realized a year ago that I can run more than a couple miles at one time, I figured I could continue to add on the miles. A marathon will just be a very drawn out, two mile run. I'm excited, but mostly terrified. I may or may not die. This may be the last thing I accomplish in life. If this is so, speak with Phillip Freeman. He knows best on how to prepare my funeral. There will be a cake and everything.
But in all seriousness, I'm really excited about training and actually going through with it. A lot of the things I actually accomplished in my life that were notable I was pressured into doing. Maybe pressured isn't the right word, but I was coaxed to accomplish certain goals that weren't necessarily completely my own. This goal, though, is mine. No one told me to do it. I'm completely choosing to do it, and the reward from that feels even more special. Then again, perhaps that smiling fat kid in picture one is actually telling me to do it. "You've got this far. You've rearranged yourself so that you'll never be this again. Keep going. Keep growing." He probably doesn't care. If he were here to speak with me he would ask, "Sooo...do you get a lot of girls now?" I would then sit him down and fill him in on a lot of things. Not just girls, but his future and my past in general. But mostly about women. I need to prepare him for the things that are about to happen to him.
Now, you take all of what I said, think about it for a half hour, then just forget about it and move on with life like you normally do. But remember! Be back here next week. Surely there will be more luscious word gold to wade through.
Until then.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
How I Spend My October: Thoughts on Wine, Fall, and Peter Weller
I would like to take this opportunity to properly apologize to Mr. Peter Weller in my post "Return of a Classic". When listing other films he participated in I forgot to mention David Cronenberg's Naked Lunch. Instead, in a frantic mess to think of a third film outside of the RoboCop franchise I listed Top of the World with Tia Carrere and Joe Pantilano. Although I'm sure Top of the World is a great film (I caught maybe five minutes of it on a Wednesday afternoon on HBO) featuring actors that you remember from one other movie but that's about it, I myself would rather be known for a 1990's film adaptation to a book from the Beat era. I know it doesn't matter. But if Pete ever happens to read this (I really respect your work, Pete. I even bothered to watch that History Channel special on French history you hosted. Top notch work Mr. Weller) I want him to see and know that fans remember only the great films he's done, rather than the mediocre ones lost in the haze of the late 90's. Then again, how many of us would want to be remembered for Buckaroo Bonzai (Maybe John Lithgow)?
On second thought, please don't read this, Pete.
I digress.
Welcome back to the blog. Hope that everyone had a great week. Mine went pretty well. The weekend was very pleasant, given the fact that I had no obligation to work under the Tea Lords. We had some great October weather here in St. Louis. On Saturday, my long time friend and collegue, Matt Lewis, and I went with his parents out to Stone Hill winery in Herman, Missouri. If you haven't been and have the means to go, I recommend it. Herman is a pretty small town about a little over an hour west of St. Louis. Very beautiful this time of year. Lots of trees and hills. Great place to stash your winery. Anyway, took a tour of the wine cellar, which wasn't as expansive as I recall. Yes, although this was my first time going to any winery since I've turned twenty-one, I did go with my parents once many years ago. Probably when I was nine or ten. All I remember was I played something like Wario World on my old gray brick Game Boy in the car on the way there and was pretty bored. Watching your parents taste wine isn't the most fascinating thing in the world when your in elementary school. But now, since I'm of age, the experience is worth the long car ride (Not much has changed, though. I still played Game Boy, The Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time on my friend's 3DS, and he played on his Motorolla Xoom tablet).
When we get there, we pay a couple bucks, Matt and I get our hands stamped with "21+" since we look like children and wait in the gift shop until it's time to take the tour. We take it, get a little history about Stone Hill (Which I will not divulge in at the current moment. I haven't the time nor patience right now). Of course, at the end, we get to taste the wines. We all gather round a circular bar thing, with two older people in the middle serving wines. Now, they pull out the first wine and start pouring a little sample into each of our plastic cups. The old guy pours for first Matt's parents, then Matt, then he gets to me and pours and says something like, "Are you even old enough to drink this?"
My first thought, "You've gotta be kidding me".
I show the guy my "21+" stamp. Still, the old man is unrelenting, "Who stamped your hand?" I pull out my wallet show my ID, the guy finally believes me, we all move on with life. Matt believes he was trying to be funny. I think I should have got into a brawl with him right there. The odds were most certainly in my favor.
I've had to deal with this for years. Even before I turned twenty-one. When you're young, its frustrating because everyone who is young wants to be old. And I've been told by older people when they see my frustration, "It'll come in handy when you're older. You'll be old but still look young." The usefulness of that fact cannot come any sooner. The day I look like a twenty-one year old, it'll be great. Then I'll stop my complaining. Until then, I'd rather people not think I'm a teenager.
They had some really great wines. I ended up buying a bottle of white wine called, "Vignoles". Normally I would be more into the dry red wine, but none of the wine they sampled was really like that. Even the reds were fairly sweet. Even though it's somewhat uncharacteristic for me to like a pretty sweet white wine, this one was very good and had pineapple notes. I love pineapple. I was sold. Matt on the other hand bought a bottle of the Cream Sherry, which in our opinion, had a similar taste to whiskey, without the "burns the whole way down" feeling.
After we bought our wine we decided to head back home. All in all, a pretty enjoyable Saturday. They are pretty hard to come by. A typical Saturday would involve me zoning at Teavana for seven hours, but maybe we'll get into that another time. At the moment, neither of us are truly interested in discussing it.
All right, I need to go do some other things today. Particularly showering.
Thanks for stopping by. Hopefully we'll both be back soon.
On second thought, please don't read this, Pete.
I digress.
Welcome back to the blog. Hope that everyone had a great week. Mine went pretty well. The weekend was very pleasant, given the fact that I had no obligation to work under the Tea Lords. We had some great October weather here in St. Louis. On Saturday, my long time friend and collegue, Matt Lewis, and I went with his parents out to Stone Hill winery in Herman, Missouri. If you haven't been and have the means to go, I recommend it. Herman is a pretty small town about a little over an hour west of St. Louis. Very beautiful this time of year. Lots of trees and hills. Great place to stash your winery. Anyway, took a tour of the wine cellar, which wasn't as expansive as I recall. Yes, although this was my first time going to any winery since I've turned twenty-one, I did go with my parents once many years ago. Probably when I was nine or ten. All I remember was I played something like Wario World on my old gray brick Game Boy in the car on the way there and was pretty bored. Watching your parents taste wine isn't the most fascinating thing in the world when your in elementary school. But now, since I'm of age, the experience is worth the long car ride (Not much has changed, though. I still played Game Boy, The Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time on my friend's 3DS, and he played on his Motorolla Xoom tablet).
When we get there, we pay a couple bucks, Matt and I get our hands stamped with "21+" since we look like children and wait in the gift shop until it's time to take the tour. We take it, get a little history about Stone Hill (Which I will not divulge in at the current moment. I haven't the time nor patience right now). Of course, at the end, we get to taste the wines. We all gather round a circular bar thing, with two older people in the middle serving wines. Now, they pull out the first wine and start pouring a little sample into each of our plastic cups. The old guy pours for first Matt's parents, then Matt, then he gets to me and pours and says something like, "Are you even old enough to drink this?"
My first thought, "You've gotta be kidding me".
I show the guy my "21+" stamp. Still, the old man is unrelenting, "Who stamped your hand?" I pull out my wallet show my ID, the guy finally believes me, we all move on with life. Matt believes he was trying to be funny. I think I should have got into a brawl with him right there. The odds were most certainly in my favor.
I've had to deal with this for years. Even before I turned twenty-one. When you're young, its frustrating because everyone who is young wants to be old. And I've been told by older people when they see my frustration, "It'll come in handy when you're older. You'll be old but still look young." The usefulness of that fact cannot come any sooner. The day I look like a twenty-one year old, it'll be great. Then I'll stop my complaining. Until then, I'd rather people not think I'm a teenager.
They had some really great wines. I ended up buying a bottle of white wine called, "Vignoles". Normally I would be more into the dry red wine, but none of the wine they sampled was really like that. Even the reds were fairly sweet. Even though it's somewhat uncharacteristic for me to like a pretty sweet white wine, this one was very good and had pineapple notes. I love pineapple. I was sold. Matt on the other hand bought a bottle of the Cream Sherry, which in our opinion, had a similar taste to whiskey, without the "burns the whole way down" feeling.
After we bought our wine we decided to head back home. All in all, a pretty enjoyable Saturday. They are pretty hard to come by. A typical Saturday would involve me zoning at Teavana for seven hours, but maybe we'll get into that another time. At the moment, neither of us are truly interested in discussing it.
All right, I need to go do some other things today. Particularly showering.
Thanks for stopping by. Hopefully we'll both be back soon.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
More Universal Discussions
Currently listening to: Elliott Smith. From a Basement on the Hill.
Remarkable album, really. About a year ago I finally initiated my Elliott Smith fandom and purchased Roman Candle. It's pretty bare bones as far as instrumentation, which makes for nice driving music. The stuff he wrote at the end of his life is probably the best. If you ever get around to it, listen to this album or Figure 8. Not that I've been sent here by the record companies to convince you to up the sales of Elliott Smith albums. That's not what it's about. It's just fantastic music, and of course Youtube will have all of his songs. Check it out, jam out. Realize the sweet sound of Elliott and his heartfelt songwriting.
So it's the middle of the week. The slow part here, and what that means for you is more random posts about life, the universe, and everything.
What if I had wrote, "...and everyfig"? Would you have thought, "Geez, can't this guy review his own work to make sure it makes sense? What a goober!" or would you have thought, "He is going to talk about every single fig. Remarkable"?
It's been a long weekend, readers, but rewarding in some respects. On Thursday nights I get together with a group from church to have dinner and Bible study. It's called Pulse and mainly consists of twenty-something graduates who are now making it as young professionals in the world. Every so often we get together to do some outreach and this last Saturday we went to a little park off of Locust and 14th to cook and serve breakfast to the homeless who live around there. Although getting up at 4:30 am to get ready and make it there by 6 is not my favorite thing, seeing people getting loved and fed is well worth it. We had over a hundred people come to line up and eat the fresh bacon and eggs we grilled right there on little camper grills. We also cut up some fruit and handed out juice and water. It's wonderful to see their joy and to know that this is exactly what Christ was doing all those years ago: serving those who are left to the side and forgotten and making them feel they are worth the time and work.
Rest of the weekend consisted of a lot of Teavana. Which is always a lovely experience. There I'm serving a different sort of people, people with money with my goal being to help them drop some more money. Gotta love retail.
We do have some new tea stuff, which I guess is cool. I'm not going to buy it. Except for "Slimful Chocolate Decadence" oolong tea. I hate the name, but the tea is so good. They should call it, "Mounds Bar Tea". "Slimful Chocolate Decadence" is a name you give some food product women would eat (No misogynist). Seriously though, first it has the word, "Slimful". Already, it's saying, "Hey, you there! You fat? Feel fat? You won't after this!" Next it has chocolate. We all know that chocolate is catnip for women. Finally, "Decadence". That sounds like, "Oooh, your doing something your not supposed to (but enjoying it), but it's okay because we preceded this entire statement with 'Slimful'". My mom bought cereal last week. She bought "Special K Granola". I'm already confused about my masculinity due to the foods I'm eating.
Dear Teavana,
Stop selling to just women on this one and call "Slimful Chocolate Decadence" "Mounds Bar Fun". Everyone loves fun. Name someone who does not love fun. Okay, that person sucks, name someone else. Good. Copyright infringement with "Mounds Bar" from Mars Bar company? Fine. Call it, "Tropical Chocolate Mountain Race". See, I threw in race to slip in that, "You won't be fat if you drink this". Genius. Take care Tea Lords,
XOXO
Michael Lee
No more word on the elevators or bathroom stalls. I let you know as further news breaks.
And I think we're done for the day. Thanks for coming and hanging out. See you about the same time next week.
Monday, September 12, 2011
Good Ideas
I'm eating Dunkaroos. Yes, the little snack that was unhealthy and packed with deadly sugar but you still loved as a child. Or at least I did. Enough to become fat (more on that later). A friend of mine found them and bought a box for me to indulge. To her I could not be more grateful. Mostly to have another opportunity to live in the 90's again. Which, by the way, reminds me of the great thing Teen Nick has decided to do. In an effort to, I suppose, just give up on making any new material, they brought back the classics of 90's nick. Which is fine by me for two reasons:
1). 90's Nick made life okay. It brought me up into the wholesome human being I am today (along with probably a few other things).
2). The stuff they were showing on there before they got the bright idea of replaying old shows in their 11pm-1am time slot was trash. Sorry.
I don't blame you, Teen Nick. I do not blame you. So, to that, I give the head nod of appreciation. It's the highest form of flattery from me. You should consider yourselves geniuses for the decision you've made and retire somewhere nice. Some place with palm trees. That's just my preference. I'm sure you've got some good ideas.
All right. With all of that said and put behind us, we can get to the sweet juice of this post that I've been grinding in my mind all day.
Pour.
Honestly, though, I really don't have a whole lot to report. Some cool news that just went down today is that the intership I've been doing at Chalice Press will now become a part time gig with pay. I'm darn excited. So, I'll be serving not only the tea lords but also the publishing world. Hopefully soon it will all lead to something else...like me living in Portland. It's the next logical step. Become the west coast beat poet I've dreamed of turning into. Do hipster things. Eat organic food. Wear "vintage" clothes. Make friends with hip musicians in indie bands with names like, "Collin" and "Tanya". Yeah man, this whole publishing thing is sure to open some doors to let out my inner yuppie.
Interjection: I'm wearing some sweet fuzzy pj pants. They're no match to my Tyrannosaurus Rex/Jurassic Park pjs I had when I was but a tot, but they are stinking comfortable. I have had them for nearly a year. I suppose there could have been a better time to mention them in the past, but now you know I have some extremely comfortable pajama-jam pants. I recommend investing in some. And if I ever owned a business, fuzzy pajama pants would be mandatory.
"Look Earl, I know it's your first day, but khaki slacks? Come on, man, chill out. Throw on these fuzzy pajama pants. Yes they're clean, smell them. Yeah, Snuggles soft with a hint of mountain breeze scent. Now you're ready to get 'em, tiger. Go out there and power point the pants off them. But not their pajama pants. Their metaphoric pants. We want to keep these people comfortable."
Either that, or we all wear kimonos. Kimonos and fuzzy pajama pants. Wow, that's fantastic. You know you want to work for me now. Too bad, you have to apply first. Then there's this thing we do with new folk who want a job: Interview. And after that is the survival test. I open the trap door, you land in the room with the t-rex with bear arms and a shark tail that breathes fire. If you outwit it, we may give you a call back.
Cool. Well, I'm going to bed. No, you can't come. That's really weird. Plus Mike Lee is his own man and likes to flail and roll about in his bed. He needs all the room for his unpredictable sleep movements.
Take care, take care, take care. See (or write) you somewhere on the other side.
1). 90's Nick made life okay. It brought me up into the wholesome human being I am today (along with probably a few other things).
2). The stuff they were showing on there before they got the bright idea of replaying old shows in their 11pm-1am time slot was trash. Sorry.
I don't blame you, Teen Nick. I do not blame you. So, to that, I give the head nod of appreciation. It's the highest form of flattery from me. You should consider yourselves geniuses for the decision you've made and retire somewhere nice. Some place with palm trees. That's just my preference. I'm sure you've got some good ideas.
All right. With all of that said and put behind us, we can get to the sweet juice of this post that I've been grinding in my mind all day.
Pour.
Honestly, though, I really don't have a whole lot to report. Some cool news that just went down today is that the intership I've been doing at Chalice Press will now become a part time gig with pay. I'm darn excited. So, I'll be serving not only the tea lords but also the publishing world. Hopefully soon it will all lead to something else...like me living in Portland. It's the next logical step. Become the west coast beat poet I've dreamed of turning into. Do hipster things. Eat organic food. Wear "vintage" clothes. Make friends with hip musicians in indie bands with names like, "Collin" and "Tanya". Yeah man, this whole publishing thing is sure to open some doors to let out my inner yuppie.
Interjection: I'm wearing some sweet fuzzy pj pants. They're no match to my Tyrannosaurus Rex/Jurassic Park pjs I had when I was but a tot, but they are stinking comfortable. I have had them for nearly a year. I suppose there could have been a better time to mention them in the past, but now you know I have some extremely comfortable pajama-jam pants. I recommend investing in some. And if I ever owned a business, fuzzy pajama pants would be mandatory.
"Look Earl, I know it's your first day, but khaki slacks? Come on, man, chill out. Throw on these fuzzy pajama pants. Yes they're clean, smell them. Yeah, Snuggles soft with a hint of mountain breeze scent. Now you're ready to get 'em, tiger. Go out there and power point the pants off them. But not their pajama pants. Their metaphoric pants. We want to keep these people comfortable."
Either that, or we all wear kimonos. Kimonos and fuzzy pajama pants. Wow, that's fantastic. You know you want to work for me now. Too bad, you have to apply first. Then there's this thing we do with new folk who want a job: Interview. And after that is the survival test. I open the trap door, you land in the room with the t-rex with bear arms and a shark tail that breathes fire. If you outwit it, we may give you a call back.
Cool. Well, I'm going to bed. No, you can't come. That's really weird. Plus Mike Lee is his own man and likes to flail and roll about in his bed. He needs all the room for his unpredictable sleep movements.
Take care, take care, take care. See (or write) you somewhere on the other side.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
"My Life is a Vast Inconsequential Epic with a Thousand and a Million Characters"
All right. Stop freaking out. I'm back.
My long time friend and associate has been very displeased concerning the lack of blog updates within the last two and a half months. I don't blame him. So, in an effort to settle his mind, mouth and bones, I'm updating. So if this post turns out lame, it's because I was bullied into doing it. And mostly because I have a cloud of guilt hanging over me.
Wow, August 5th was the last entry. To be honest, quite a bit has happened since then. I finally escaped the call center about August 14th. With some ambition, strong feelings on freedom, a couple of grenades and an iron will, you can achieve almost anything. Especially escape from a windowless job.
I also stopped watching Bob Ross as much. I noticed the show doesn't have the same effect on me as it did during my time at the Spherion call center. I would come home on a Tuesday or Thursday night around 11:30. I would turn on the Create channel and listen to his soothing voice as his worn, liver spotted hands manipulated a canvas in ways I never dreamed possible by any other human being. The tambre of his voice, the creation of a serene landscape, and his ability to some degree narrate a story as he made worlds with nothing more than phalo blue and okre yellow put me in a state of mind that could only be aptly termed as, "Zen peace". Yes, each episode was like attaining enlightenment. Happiness is naught but the moment. Surrender desire and suffering. Ohm.
Now, it doesn't give quite the same zen state. It's as if I need a bigger buzz to find that happy place (no, I haven't turned to drugs). Or, more likely, his show served it's purpose for me. Now I'm able to find serenity without the afroed sage explaining how to paint a wave. But, I'm glad he was there for me before, back when I thought there was nothing more to life than answering 50 calls a day and sitting in a chair doing nothing the rest of the time.
Now your question is (if you don't know me. Which I know you're just David. BUT, if by some strange chance you've never met me and now you're reading this, having the absolute time of your life..) where did I go after the call center?
The tea business. That's where.
Suprised? Don't be. It's only my near obsession. Travis Lund, my current boss, hired me on shortly (very shortly) before I escaped the clutches of Spherion. I'm currently serving my time (part-time) at Teavana in Plaza Frontenac (a very high end mall in St. Louis. I'm not bragging, believe you me. I'm actually intimidated everytime I'm there). I stand around most the time, handing out free samples at our sample cart at the entrance of the store. I drink a lot of free tea. Sometimes an individual, or a couple, or even a whole family or crowd of friends come in and want to buy tea to take home and brew and have little tea parties. And I always get the question, "What's the smallest amount I can buy?"
You've got to be kidding me.
I know you make a lot. You shop in this mall. You just bought pants from Saks Fifth Avenue, or Banana Republic, or Juicy that probably costs 2 weeks worth of wages from my part time job, and you can only shell out 20 bucks? You buy a freaking pound of coffee from Starbucks (or drink a pound of it each week when you go to order a latte. Don't lie to me!), and a pound or half pound of tea is "too much"? Dumb. Buy more tea. That way you're healthy, you have a tasty drink to have at home, and I make sales. Yes, I need to make sales so I don't have to go to sleep at night wondering, "Will Travis throw me out of the tea business? Literally, throw me out?"
It doesn't matter. You consumers are American, and you're obviously not raging capitalists. You're Americans and you like tea about as much as you like to watch or care about Soccer when it's NOT the World Cup. You know what you like. Who says that Americans are blind consumers? They know what to buy in these trying economic times.
Alright, enough of that.
On another note, David Lechner is married to his beautiful and wonderful wife Kathryn, who is, by the way, the only Kathryn I know to spell her name in such a cool way. I know, it really wasn't her decision, she just followed through with it. So Kathryn, tell your parents nice job on spelling it like that.
The wedding was great. I got to see Oregon, hang out with asians, stand next to Dave and be his best man; Dave got a wife. Everyone wins. Oh, and delicious pie and cake were involved.
Dave had a lot of great people who helped make the wedding not only possible but a very beautiful event (with the exception of the photographer. See Dave Lechner's blog). Tom is a mad man on piano (and Pokemon). A great and very memorable weekend altogether (I could go into better details, but I'm very hungry. Still have yet to eat breakfast).
I haven't much more to say beyond that. Those were by far the greatest details of the gaping hole of time I neglected to fill in on "Revenge of the Living Blog". Hopefully (prayerfully) there will be more blogs to blog. Hopefully I will take advantage of the dead air in my life and type some stuff down. Take care, have a safe Halloween. Don't trick or treat by yourself. Always bring a buddy. Don't go to houses that look like they'll hand out heroin (unless you're into that sort of thing. Even then, I advise to get off the smack). I'll be back here sometime in the near future.
Peace.
My long time friend and associate has been very displeased concerning the lack of blog updates within the last two and a half months. I don't blame him. So, in an effort to settle his mind, mouth and bones, I'm updating. So if this post turns out lame, it's because I was bullied into doing it. And mostly because I have a cloud of guilt hanging over me.
Wow, August 5th was the last entry. To be honest, quite a bit has happened since then. I finally escaped the call center about August 14th. With some ambition, strong feelings on freedom, a couple of grenades and an iron will, you can achieve almost anything. Especially escape from a windowless job.
I also stopped watching Bob Ross as much. I noticed the show doesn't have the same effect on me as it did during my time at the Spherion call center. I would come home on a Tuesday or Thursday night around 11:30. I would turn on the Create channel and listen to his soothing voice as his worn, liver spotted hands manipulated a canvas in ways I never dreamed possible by any other human being. The tambre of his voice, the creation of a serene landscape, and his ability to some degree narrate a story as he made worlds with nothing more than phalo blue and okre yellow put me in a state of mind that could only be aptly termed as, "Zen peace". Yes, each episode was like attaining enlightenment. Happiness is naught but the moment. Surrender desire and suffering. Ohm.
Now, it doesn't give quite the same zen state. It's as if I need a bigger buzz to find that happy place (no, I haven't turned to drugs). Or, more likely, his show served it's purpose for me. Now I'm able to find serenity without the afroed sage explaining how to paint a wave. But, I'm glad he was there for me before, back when I thought there was nothing more to life than answering 50 calls a day and sitting in a chair doing nothing the rest of the time.
Now your question is (if you don't know me. Which I know you're just David. BUT, if by some strange chance you've never met me and now you're reading this, having the absolute time of your life..) where did I go after the call center?
The tea business. That's where.
Suprised? Don't be. It's only my near obsession. Travis Lund, my current boss, hired me on shortly (very shortly) before I escaped the clutches of Spherion. I'm currently serving my time (part-time) at Teavana in Plaza Frontenac (a very high end mall in St. Louis. I'm not bragging, believe you me. I'm actually intimidated everytime I'm there). I stand around most the time, handing out free samples at our sample cart at the entrance of the store. I drink a lot of free tea. Sometimes an individual, or a couple, or even a whole family or crowd of friends come in and want to buy tea to take home and brew and have little tea parties. And I always get the question, "What's the smallest amount I can buy?"
You've got to be kidding me.
I know you make a lot. You shop in this mall. You just bought pants from Saks Fifth Avenue, or Banana Republic, or Juicy that probably costs 2 weeks worth of wages from my part time job, and you can only shell out 20 bucks? You buy a freaking pound of coffee from Starbucks (or drink a pound of it each week when you go to order a latte. Don't lie to me!), and a pound or half pound of tea is "too much"? Dumb. Buy more tea. That way you're healthy, you have a tasty drink to have at home, and I make sales. Yes, I need to make sales so I don't have to go to sleep at night wondering, "Will Travis throw me out of the tea business? Literally, throw me out?"
It doesn't matter. You consumers are American, and you're obviously not raging capitalists. You're Americans and you like tea about as much as you like to watch or care about Soccer when it's NOT the World Cup. You know what you like. Who says that Americans are blind consumers? They know what to buy in these trying economic times.
Alright, enough of that.
On another note, David Lechner is married to his beautiful and wonderful wife Kathryn, who is, by the way, the only Kathryn I know to spell her name in such a cool way. I know, it really wasn't her decision, she just followed through with it. So Kathryn, tell your parents nice job on spelling it like that.
The wedding was great. I got to see Oregon, hang out with asians, stand next to Dave and be his best man; Dave got a wife. Everyone wins. Oh, and delicious pie and cake were involved.
Dave had a lot of great people who helped make the wedding not only possible but a very beautiful event (with the exception of the photographer. See Dave Lechner's blog). Tom is a mad man on piano (and Pokemon). A great and very memorable weekend altogether (I could go into better details, but I'm very hungry. Still have yet to eat breakfast).
I haven't much more to say beyond that. Those were by far the greatest details of the gaping hole of time I neglected to fill in on "Revenge of the Living Blog". Hopefully (prayerfully) there will be more blogs to blog. Hopefully I will take advantage of the dead air in my life and type some stuff down. Take care, have a safe Halloween. Don't trick or treat by yourself. Always bring a buddy. Don't go to houses that look like they'll hand out heroin (unless you're into that sort of thing. Even then, I advise to get off the smack). I'll be back here sometime in the near future.
Peace.
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