Have a Seat. There's....a Lot We Have to Discuss.

I'm not going to lie, I have kind of feared this moment for sometime now.  Feared what you ask? Writing publicly again.  Coming back to this blog which I have neglected for too long.  Trying to grab hold of that again.

Yeah, it's been a really long time.  I have had a bad record on here for not keeping this current.  Entire months would pass without a post. But years?! Goodness.  I'm shocked at myself.  Stunned and disappointed.  My deepest and sincerest apologies  for all those who actually liked to read this.  When I put it that way...I don't feel so bad.  I mean, seriously, how many of you read this?  Not too many.  And now you've forgotten all about this.

So, it has been nearly three years.  A lot has happened in that amount of time.  I do mean a lot.  Like, that's another thing I feared.  "If I were to write on my blog again, what would I say?  How would I sum up all that has happened?"  Let me tell you, with all that has happened, this is a very difficult and daunting task.  I suppose the best place to start would be that photograph down there - yes the one with the 25 year old boy all smug because he had just finished his first (and still only) marathon.

Well, after that I went to IHOP, like all good Americans.  It was Phil (pictured to my right [or left, depending on how you look at it] in the photo), Stephanie maybe, some other people (Craig? Was he there? Names don't matter to you guys, what am I worried about?)....and Abbie Lohmann (that name is significant, so pay attention).

Abbie Lohmann.  Now, to explain this, we must rewind a bit.  I've known Abbie long before I ever decided to run a marathon.  I knew her parents, was friends with her younger brother.  But Abbie and I...we were friends in the civil sense.  Sure, we said, "Hello", "How are you?" things of that nature.  Beyond that...we were never really "friends".  She thought I was a big, awkward loser.  For the most part.

There is a period of me liking her somewhat off and on, and when I realized that I like her, she liked someone else.  Someone lean, attractive, athletic, not awkward etc. etc.  You know...like superman or something. The Knight in Shining Armor. The Dreamboat. Matthew McConaughey. Cliche cliche cliche....

So, about the time this photograph was taken, Abbie had finally come around.  Something snapped in her strange female brain, and she really hasn't snapped back since.  She saw change in me.  Saw that I was becoming more ambitious.  Wearing less comic book shirts and wearing things that, you know, typical people wear.  Things without graphics on them.  But I had no idea this was happening.  I, Mike Lee, was trying to achieve a level of highest male zen.  I was my own man, I did not need any woman to come around and interrupt that.  They all just decide to go their own way any way.  Too difficult to figure out with women whether or not they were in it for the long haul.  I decided, well before this photo, that I just did not have time for that.  Time to figure out how they felt, if the liking and the relationship was going to be a serious thing.  I had ambitions! Things to do, and little, oh so little, time to do them in.

At least that's what I told myself.  Now, another nice anecdote to wedge in here is that, on her 23rd birthday, in the year of our Lord 2011, at the top floor of the Baily's Chocolate Bar, we had shaken hands with the sincere promise from both sides that we would never marry one another.  I had said something, went on a "I'm my own man" speech (I had at this point had a whiskey or two), and generated a general disgust from Abbie.  I believe her exact words were, "I will never marry you." I said, with the utmost emphasis and diligence, "Deal".  And so we shook on it.

Now, let's come back to spring of 2012.  She liked me.  I was not aware. Until she started texting me.  A lot.  And responding to each of my texts rather quickly.  This was uncharacteristic.  But, I had confused signals from her before, so I shrug it off.  It was until May of that year her cousin, during a talk on a drive from an art fair in Illinois, dropped a major hint.  From then on I noticed Abbie's flirtatiousness more.  I realized, that yeah, I do kinda like her.

We liked each other.  Talked a lot that summer.  This was also the summer I had decided to do something I have talked about on here (I dunno, it's been so long since I've read any of these posts).  I was going to finally go to South Korea and teach English.  A friend of mine, when I had told him I had dreamed of doing this, said he actually had an old college friend who now lived and worked in Seoul, South Korea.  Our church has many other churches globally, and this friend was going to the one in Seoul.  He knew some other foreigners who were doing exactly what I wanted to do.  My friend spurred me to follow this dream, and said he would put me in touch with his friend in South Korea.  Now, my mind was set to follow through with that.

Now.  The dilemma.  I liked a girl.  I was anticipating going overseas for a full year.  In my mind, I had to pick one.  Both could not work.  So, I thought about it a lot.  A LOT.  And decided, I would forgo the relationship and follow my dream.

I talked to Abbie's brother.  He said that maybe they could both work.  A year is just a year, right?  If you never try, you'll never know.  He advised me to talk to her, lay it out there, and see what she comes back with.  So I did.

One night in August, we were texting.  She knew something was off.  She asked why.  I said I was thinking a lot lately.  She asked what about.  I knew then that I had to call her, tell her how I felt.  Now, at this point, she knew my intentions of going overseas to teach.  She thought it was great and really wanted me to do it.  But now I had to tell her that I liked her, which I had not done yet.  I also had to talk about the future, long distance and all that.  I was shaking.  I didn't call immediately.  But I did.  And one of the most awkward phone conversations in history ensued.

"Hey Abbie."

"Hey Mike."

"Soooo....what do you think about me going to Korea for a year?"

Ugh.  Seriously, Mike?  What was your intent?  I imagine that with that question I was trying to draw out from her the confession that she liked me.  But she held her poker hand close.

"I think it's great.  I think that you should go after it.  It's one of your dreams.  If you never do it, you'll regret it."

Yeah.  Yeah, I probably would.  So knowing that the next logical step was to tell her, I went ahead and explained how I felt about her.  She reciprocated. I don't remember much from the conversation after that.  But the following night we talked for a while on her front step of where she was living at the time.  We talked about a lot of things.  The past.  The present.  Eventually we got to the future.  "It's just a year.  We can make it work."  I took that as a green light.  I wanted to go to Korea, but I also wanted to be with her.  But...maybe it could work.

A few weeks later, we went on a nice date with another couple.  Under the St. Louis Arch that evening, much to her surprise, I asked her to be my girlfriend (surprise because I had been taking my sweet time with everything up until that point, so she no longer anticipated me asking to happen that soon).  There's a lot more to that date, and it's kind of funny, but that's a whole other blog post.

During the next five or six months we dated.  It was great.  We had a couple bumps, but nothing serious.  I was going through the long, long, long process of getting ready to go to Korea (Also, a whole other blog post).  It was like a side quest in a video game.

In late February of 2013, I was all ready to go.  I had my visa, and had been accepted to a school where I would be teaching kindergarteners and elementary students for an entire year.  The school had set up my flight. I was supposed to leave on the 22nd of February, but we had a bad snowstorm on the 21st, so my flight was cancelled and I had to rebook.  Which, the lady gave me a very long, and round about flight itinerary. Needless to say, instead of having a pretty quick, straight shot from St. Louis to Chicago, Chicago to Seoul, in the course of a day and a half, my entire weekend was spent with delays and mishaps.  Another story (see why this is so difficult?)  So I left Friday evening from St. Louis, got to Incheon Airport in Seoul on Monday night.  Long time traveling.

I got there. I felt a lot like Samwise. "If I take one more step, I'll be the farthest from home that I've ever been."  It was a bit daunting, being in Seoul South Korea, one of the biggest cities in the world and most definitely the biggest I've ever been too.  I met some really cool people.  Over the course of a year, I got to do a lot of fun stuff, teach some fun and extraordinary kids, and a visit to Japan was wedged in there (That....THAT was the dream.  Nothing like sushi in Kyoto, Japan).  I would love to go into some of the stories.  I had meant to blog about my adventures in Korea, and greatly regret that I did not do so.  Lot's of craziness.  But...perhaps another time.

During this time, Abbie and I continued to date.  We had weekly Skype dates and talked regularly through apps like Couple and Kakao Talk.  There was also a week in the summer when Abbie and one of my good friends (the one from the marathon photo) came to visit.  It was...strained, to say the least.  That was one of the most difficult things I had ever done.  But we made it.  We got into a fair share of fights, disappointments, but we didn't give up.  Then I came back, and that actually presented a new set of challenges which took some time to overcome.

In July of 2014, Abbie and I went to go visit my friend Dave and his wife, Kathryn in Portland.  I had always wanted to experience downtown Portland.  I had visited Oregon before when Dave and Kathryn were married in 2010.  Their wedding was held rather far away from Portland.  This time, this would be the time to visit Portland.  Abbie stayed with her aunt and uncle, while I stayed with Dave and Kathryn.  We spent a few days with Abbie's aunt and uncle.  We spent one day at the Oregon Brewfest (There's a beer called the "Megadank".  If anyone can find this for me and send it, I would be extremely appreciative.  It had so much hops.  The IBU was literally off the charts, according to the little pamphlet.  And I do love a really hoppy beer [Oregon is a magical land of hops]).  We also spent a day driving up the Oregon cost, stopping at little towns, lunching at a one of the Rogue Beer restaurants.  There was a beach we stopped at, which was gorgeous.  This is were "Haystack" rock is.  Honestly, the name of the beach eludes me at the moment, which I should know due to what happens later.


See, a week before we left for Portland, I bought Abbie's engagement/wedding ring.  I had numerous ideas of how I would propose (A hot air balloon was one).  Many of which were thrown out due to logistical things. Yet, I probably should've went with one of those original ideas.  But I'm Mike Lee, so I felt confident to do this. And so...

That beach with Haystack rock? Yeah, we went back.  Dave took us there.  The sun was low in the sky.  Abbie and I walked out to the edge of the water (not without some grumpiness and apprehension on her part.  She just wanted to sit down and relax on her beach towel).  I awkwardly (this is a common thing, for sure) said something "romantic" (arguably) and got down on one knee, begging the question we were certain of the answer.  So on July 28th, 2014 I was engaged.  The woman who shook my hand, vowed never to marry me, is now going to have to make a very different vow.  Course, I guess the same is true for myself.

After that, wedding planning happened.  We're just about done with that.  The big day is coming up: May 9th 2015. 

Now, I work at a law firm as an administrative assistant.  I've been living with Phil for the last year, but will be moving to Abbie and I's future residence soon (Also, another story.  Seriously, if only I had kept up with this dumb blog I wouldn't have to play catch up).

In the words of the Grateful Dead, "What a long, strange trip it's been..."  I'm hoping (very much so) that there are more adventures to come.  Life and has been...well, quiet since I've come back.  I say that in a somewhat relative manner.  No big adventures.  And running? Oh man, forget that.  I've tried so many times since I've been back.  I ran some in Korea, but ever since I came back here...ugh, I can hardly go a mile without getting winded.  A MILE! And I happily ran 26.2!  For me, it wasn't even a workout unless I did five miles.  Those days...well I hope they are not dead.  I was less fat, that's for sure.

Well, I hope you feel caught up.  I'm sorry that not a lot of details were spilled, but seriously, it's been three years.  You a get a nutshell synopsis, until I decide to write about all those other things I teased you about in this post.

Hopefully I will return.  I'll try to not make it so long next time.

**TEN YEARS LATER***

"Hey guys I'm back.  Finally.  So. Where to start? I have children now.  That's crazy."

A World Without Ends

I have great news!  I'm alive!

Final time for my marathon run: 4:29:04.  I was extremely excited to know I made it under four and a half hours.  The whole time I was running that's what I was thinking: I really want to get under four and half.

All in all, great experience.  I was REALLY starting to feel it around mile 24, but by then you're all in.  Nothing left to do but move forward and hope that your limp body doesn't fall to the pavement before you cross the finish line.  And if it does, hope that its at a point where the momentum of your tumbling carries you over the line.  What a great photo finish that would be.

Most would say that I'm a glutton for punishment, but I truly enjoyed myself, and not just because I accomplished a life goal.  The support of friends and family I had backing me, that ridiculous poster my friend Phil made for the event, and all the other inspiring/ridiculous posters people had made for runners all made the experience unforgettable.  A few of my favorite signs/posters:

"Worst parade ever."

"There will come a day when you can no longer do this.  Today is not that day."

"Because 26.3 miles would just be CRAZY."

"I'm lazy."

And a few others which I've forgotten in the foggy haze of my post adrenal mind.  But the one in the photo above was the one I was looking for, because it meant, "Hey, there's some blue Gatorade and a Cliff bar up ahead."

The question is, "Now what?"  I'm done.  Months of training, treating my body as well as I could, and following through with my mad dream to the end has paid off.  The race is over.  Mom suggested Boston Marathon.  The qualifying time is three hours and ten minutes.  I have to beat my time by an hour and nineteen minutes.  I don't think that'll be happening anytime soon.

I will admit, this has given me more of a vigor for life,  not wanting to be complacent but to push the limits as far as they can go, no matter what I do.  Two years ago, had you told me I was to finish a marathon, I would've laughed.  Or maybe I would've have believed you, yet still been shocked.  Until a couple years ago, a little over two miles on the tredmill was all I could do before I became winded.  That was my limit, until I created new limits.   So, a limit isn't really a limit at all in some circumstances.  A limit tells you what you can do right now.  But it stands there, waiting for you to push past it, and when you do it has to catch up in order to stop you again.  And again.  And again.

So seriously, not trying to be a motivational poster in the 90's, but you really can do whatever you want.  You simply have to be willing to work.  You can't expect it to just happen.  It took a year and a half to go from two miles to 26.2 miles.  It was tough.  There were bad days that involved the walk of shame to finish.  Then there were days where I felt like I could run through brick walls and keep going.  There is no end.  You make your own ends.

Most things are mental anyway.  We think it's impossible.  Running a marathon sounds hard, I agree.  Truly, its one of the easiest things.  You put one foot in front of the other.  That's it.  You don't have to do anything else.  You don't have to play an intricate line on the piano.  You don't have to solve a difficult physics equation.  You don't have to perform brain surgeory.  You just have to put one foot in front of the other.  Pain, discomfort, that's all mental.  You can over come that, unless your leg actually snaps in two.  But if you keep running, I'd really really respect you.  That's hardcore.

In other news, my mother tells me my Aunt Pegge has sent me a typewriter owned by my great-grandfather, Silas Clark.  Really excited about that.  So, for any of your who legitamately planned to send me a typewriter and looked through all the local antique malls, I'm grateful but the need is no longer present.  You can go back about your business.  I'll ask for something later though.

That's all I have.  Glad we had this little pep talk.  Take care.  Push those limits.

Peace.

Updates. Updates for Everyone.

In the immortal words of the Dragoon soldiers from Starcraft: "I have returned".

Wow, it doesn't seem like that long, but it has been over three months.  Three months.  That's one third of a baby, if you catch my drift.

I'd apologize, but we all expect it now.  It's like the tides.

Honestly, not very much has happened.  I've ran many miles these last three months.  I haven't logged the miles I've covered over the course of all this training, but there was a week near the end of March in which I did about 65 miles total.  So, my feet have slammed into the ground many times in an effort to propel the rest of the body great lengths.  Let's not forget legs either.  Thanks guys.

The race is tomorrow, April 15th, 2012 at 7am.  I can't tell you how excited I am to do it, which is why I also don't want it to happen tomorrow.  After all this hype, building myself up to accomplish this one dream, it'll all be over.  What then?  What's after this?  I feel this urge to continue to push the limits.  I've been tested this far; let see just how much more I can do.  But we'll consider this further at another time.  First, the marathon.

Our office moved.  I no longer have to combat downtown traffic and travel on foot a half mile from parking lot to office and then back again.  As a matter of fact, our new office is located on Eden Theological Seminary campus, which is directly across from Webster University in (you guessed it) Webster Groves.  I sometimes feel like I'm circling around my own life.  Around and around.

It's a nice place.  The commute is easier, and I don't have to pay for parking.  The new office is much smaller, which makes more sense since there's so few of us to begin with.  Other than that, work is work.  I do it a couple times a week and that's about it.  I did get to train a couple of our staff on this online database, Biblio.  That made me feel a little significant.

That's it.  Seriously.  My muse hopped a train out of town, so all I have for you is the bare bones.  No interesting anecdotes.

But come back sometime.  I might have more to share three months from now.

Peace.

Time Travel at Normal Speed.

Well, I don't know what brought you to do it, but you wound up back here.  I appreciate it.  It makes me think, "Oh man, I am really cool and some people think I'm both funny and a genius."  Some people in this life don't really get to feel that way.  Unless he/she is really pretentious and in love with him/herself.  Which, the case still may be that deep down inside he/she actually feels inadequate and needs to make up for that by pretending to be funny and a genius.  I don't know.  I'm not a psychologist.

I'm not a lot of things.  Have you figured that one out yet?  Right, of course you have.  Right now I'm a guy in his fuzzy pajama-jam pants and t-shirt, drinking Sakura Allure green tea (one of the new installments to the Teavana selection), and listening to Dredg's "The Pariah, The Parrot, The Delusion".  Comfy day after Halloween.

Unsure of what to post this week, but I had a few ideas.  Let's roll with one of them.

Now, as some of you may or may not know, I was once a fat kid.  That thing to the left?  Fat kid.  Fourteen years old.  Spring of eighth grade, 2001.  As you can tell, I wasn't really socially conscious, either, which didn't really help my weak, adolescent self-esteem, which I can go more in depth on another time with both funny and scarring anecdotes.  And my looks?  I don't even think the 90's would've allowed it (and they did allow a lot).  First of all, I'm wearing a ridiculous early 90's Hawaiian shirt ("But Michael, how do you know it's from the early 90's?" "Because It was once my father's and he got it when we went to Hawaii in 1991.  I wore it back then because I thought Hawaiian shirts were 'in'").  I also had quite the bowl cut for many years.  Glance over to exhibit B.

                                         Exhibit B.
(The only way you can make this cuter is if you were to staple new born kittens to this child.)

Yeah, ever since I was a tot I was graced with a golden bowl atop my crown.  And pinchable cheeks.  Which, however you look at it, could be a blessing, or something you wish you could do away with altogether so that people wouldn't think your six years younger than you are (See "How I Spend My October" for an in depth explanation). 

The point of all of this being is that, yesterday morning, at about 7 am Central Standard Time, I registered myself for the GO! St. Louis Marathon, something I've been anticipating to accomplish for about a year.  Now, as you may remember, loyal followers, I did mention in "Going the Extra Mile" that this is one of my life goals.  After I realized a year ago that I can run more than a couple miles at one time, I figured I could continue to add on the miles.  A marathon will just be a very drawn out, two mile run.  I'm excited, but mostly terrified.  I may or may not die.  This may be the last thing I accomplish in life.  If this is so, speak with Phillip Freeman.  He knows best on how to prepare my funeral.  There will be a cake and everything.

But in all seriousness, I'm really excited about training and actually going through with it.  A lot of the things I actually accomplished in my life that were notable I was pressured into doing.  Maybe pressured isn't the right word, but I was coaxed to accomplish certain goals that weren't necessarily completely my own.  This goal, though, is mine.  No one told me to do it.  I'm completely choosing to do it, and the reward from that feels even more special.  Then again, perhaps that smiling fat kid in picture one is actually telling me to do it.  "You've got this far.  You've rearranged yourself so that you'll never be this again.  Keep going.  Keep growing."  He probably doesn't care.  If he were here to speak with me he would ask, "Sooo...do you get a lot of girls now?"  I would then sit him down and fill him in on a lot of things.  Not just girls, but his future and my past in general.  But mostly about women.  I need to prepare him for the things that are about to happen to him.

Now, you take all of what I said, think about it for a half hour, then just forget about it and move on with life like you normally do.  But remember!  Be back here next week.  Surely there will be more luscious word gold to wade through.

Until then.