"My Life is a Vast Inconsequential Epic with a Thousand and a Million Characters"

All right. Stop freaking out. I'm back.

My long time friend and associate has been very displeased concerning the lack of blog updates within the last two and a half months. I don't blame him. So, in an effort to settle his mind, mouth and bones, I'm updating. So if this post turns out lame, it's because I was bullied into doing it. And mostly because I have a cloud of guilt hanging over me.

Wow, August 5th was the last entry. To be honest, quite a bit has happened since then. I finally escaped the call center about August 14th. With some ambition, strong feelings on freedom, a couple of grenades and an iron will, you can achieve almost anything. Especially escape from a windowless job.

I also stopped watching Bob Ross as much. I noticed the show doesn't have the same effect on me as it did during my time at the Spherion call center. I would come home on a Tuesday or Thursday night around 11:30. I would turn on the Create channel and listen to his soothing voice as his worn, liver spotted hands manipulated a canvas in ways I never dreamed possible by any other human being. The tambre of his voice, the creation of a serene landscape, and his ability to some degree narrate a story as he made worlds with nothing more than phalo blue and okre yellow put me in a state of mind that could only be aptly termed as, "Zen peace". Yes, each episode was like attaining enlightenment. Happiness is naught but the moment. Surrender desire and suffering. Ohm.

Now, it doesn't give quite the same zen state. It's as if I need a bigger buzz to find that happy place (no, I haven't turned to drugs). Or, more likely, his show served it's purpose for me. Now I'm able to find serenity without the afroed sage explaining how to paint a wave. But, I'm glad he was there for me before, back when I thought there was nothing more to life than answering 50 calls a day and sitting in a chair doing nothing the rest of the time.

Now your question is (if you don't know me. Which I know you're just David. BUT, if by some strange chance you've never met me and now you're reading this, having the absolute time of your life..) where did I go after the call center?

The tea business. That's where.

Suprised? Don't be. It's only my near obsession. Travis Lund, my current boss, hired me on shortly (very shortly) before I escaped the clutches of Spherion. I'm currently serving my time (part-time) at Teavana in Plaza Frontenac (a very high end mall in St. Louis. I'm not bragging, believe you me. I'm actually intimidated everytime I'm there). I stand around most the time, handing out free samples at our sample cart at the entrance of the store. I drink a lot of free tea. Sometimes an individual, or a couple, or even a whole family or crowd of friends come in and want to buy tea to take home and brew and have little tea parties. And I always get the question, "What's the smallest amount I can buy?"

You've got to be kidding me.

I know you make a lot. You shop in this mall. You just bought pants from Saks Fifth Avenue, or Banana Republic, or Juicy that probably costs 2 weeks worth of wages from my part time job, and you can only shell out 20 bucks? You buy a freaking pound of coffee from Starbucks (or drink a pound of it each week when you go to order a latte. Don't lie to me!), and a pound or half pound of tea is "too much"? Dumb. Buy more tea. That way you're healthy, you have a tasty drink to have at home, and I make sales. Yes, I need to make sales so I don't have to go to sleep at night wondering, "Will Travis throw me out of the tea business? Literally, throw me out?"

It doesn't matter. You consumers are American, and you're obviously not raging capitalists. You're Americans and you like tea about as much as you like to watch or care about Soccer when it's NOT the World Cup. You know what you like. Who says that Americans are blind consumers? They know what to buy in these trying economic times.

Alright, enough of that.

On another note, David Lechner is married to his beautiful and wonderful wife Kathryn, who is, by the way, the only Kathryn I know to spell her name in such a cool way. I know, it really wasn't her decision, she just followed through with it. So Kathryn, tell your parents nice job on spelling it like that.

The wedding was great. I got to see Oregon, hang out with asians, stand next to Dave and be his best man; Dave got a wife. Everyone wins. Oh, and delicious pie and cake were involved.

Dave had a lot of great people who helped make the wedding not only possible but a very beautiful event (with the exception of the photographer. See Dave Lechner's blog). Tom is a mad man on piano (and Pokemon). A great and very memorable weekend altogether (I could go into better details, but I'm very hungry. Still have yet to eat breakfast).

I haven't much more to say beyond that. Those were by far the greatest details of the gaping hole of time I neglected to fill in on "Revenge of the Living Blog". Hopefully (prayerfully) there will be more blogs to blog. Hopefully I will take advantage of the dead air in my life and type some stuff down. Take care, have a safe Halloween. Don't trick or treat by yourself. Always bring a buddy. Don't go to houses that look like they'll hand out heroin (unless you're into that sort of thing. Even then, I advise to get off the smack). I'll be back here sometime in the near future.

Peace.