Summa Time

Well, I'm back from an incredibly busy summer.  Busy, busy, busy.  Nothing but things to do, people to see, and universes to save.  I'm wiped out.

All right.  That first part was a lie.  I've done (for the most part) nothing.  Things I've done this summer:

1.) Finished the Harry Potter books
2.) Worked
3.) Started a bit of an internship at a Christian publishing office (unpaid)
4.) Saw Incubus live (finally)
5.) Went on a float trip down the drunken river of destruction (Yes, that is an exaggeration.  But did you know that there are more drunk people in southern Missouri than sober people?  It's insane.)

That's about it for the high points.  Pretty slow summer (first in awhile).  Now the weather is finally beginning to settle down so that autum can be given a proper welcome.  We do welcome you autum.  You're very beautiful and we wish nothing for the best while you're here, but I can't help but think about winter slowly walking behind you, brining the cold and plans to wipe out what beauty you've dressed the world with.  These days are in fact getting shorter as well.  Too soon, I say.  2011, you've hardly had time to really sit and speak.  You've been pacing the room, looking at your watch, and kicking back drinks, anticipating only to leave us.  You were rather quiet.  I hope only to make small talk before it's time for you to leave.  Create a couple memories.  Take a photograph.  Post it on Facebook.  If you'll only grant us that much.

Just to keep my loyal fans in the know,  I've been thinking of making another blog.  One with a bit more "focus".  This is just a scatterbrained mess that I keep around to help prevent writer atrophy (has it helped?).  I've thought about a blog of mini-stories (shorter than short stories) or a blog based around tea, or some other thing I'm obsessed with (Time Travel, Audrey Hepburn, etc. etc.).  So if there is ever a day when this blog "vanishes" or mutates into some altogether different, you'll know the reason.  But until I buckle down and decide what to do, you can read this to your leisure.  And I'll continue to write throw away material every couple of months.

Recently I've been considering buying a typewriter.  My mom used to have one that I used in my amatuer writing days.  Ah, fine days those were.  I started out as a horror writer.  You know, Steven King stuff.  I was only about 9 at the time, but I wrote some really creepy stuff.  Short, disturbing stories with titles like, "The Poltergeist" and "The Gremlins".  Then about seventh grade I moved to sci-fi.  I began a novel called "Sight From the Eagle's Eye".  Wrote it at night during the summer of 2000 by hand on sheets of notebook paper.  I got to about chapter four and then quit.  It's lost foever now.

Tangent.

Anyway, my point being, I want a typewriter and I want it to be rather small.  Travel sized if possible.  Something Kerouac or Ginsberg would have toted around.   So, just donate to my typewriter fund, or send me the old typewriter and I'll get started on my sci-fi time travel epic, "The Universe Is Ordinary".  You'll get an advanced copy for your troubles, and by advanced copy I mean that you'll recieve a copy of the original manuscript when it reaches completion.  Also, I'll sign it.  And you can also come with me on my five city midwest tour, and if you're really qualified and trustworthy, you can be my agent.  Yes, the agent to "Mike Lee the Extraordinary".  Think about it.  We'll grab lunch, hang out.  Become best friends.

That's all.  Nothing more.  It's 2:22pm CST.  I'm still in my pajama-jams, listening to that song from The Matrix when Morpheus and Neo are walking down the street during the agent training program.  Life is considerably simple and boring (Which is why I need you to invest in me and become my trusted agent).  And to answer your question: Harper Collins is a fine for publishing my book.  I'm okay with that. 

Hope everyone had a great summer, a fantastic labor day.  Enjoy your week (call me).

The Sun Awaits For Our Emergence From Cave Of Gloom.

The first of June has finally arrived. We've rocketed through winter and spring to finally be...here. Summer (unofficially according to astronomical(?) standards. But it's freaking warm out there. Plus, bar-b-ques, screaming children, and open pools make it seem as though the season has arrived). A fantastic time of the year. Lot's of great memories. A couple of crappy ones sprinkled in there, but they can be easily dismissed. When summer comes, happy thoughts sprout from my brain. So in other words, I'm feeling good right now and the cloud of gloom that normally casts a shadow on me is beginning to disperse.

One of the greatest God given things (on the long list of things): Tea. I've been sipping double green matcha tea from Republic of Tea this morning. With a little bit of honey, it's quite possibly one of the best tasting beverages.

I'm off the coffee finally. I've stopped brewing three cups a day about a month and a half ago. I still have it from time to time when it's available at a friend's place. Trying to stop my intake of caffine completely, but a soda or a cup of coffee manages to enter my system every so often. If I didn't have friends I would probably be able to go cold turkey. Unfortunately, I know some very hospitable people who like coffee and offer it to their guests. Same goes for soda. Despite all that, even if I end up ceasing my dependence on caffinated products, I don't know what will happen. I may start to tweek out. I'll refuse to eat, and if I do I'll just vomit it back up. I won't be able to sleep at night. I'll just sit in a corner of my room, screaming...

I suppose I also need to comletely stop drinking black tea, if I'm wishing to achieve this goal. That probably won't happen.

I have to wash the cat today.

Well, I don't have to. But I offered. And because she's a stupid animal, and I would love to see her writhe in anguish as I scrub her dandruffed back with medicated shampoo. It's sadistic. But not many of you understand. This cat annoys me, and loves doing it. So, in a way, I'm getting her back while I perform a favor for her (and my dear mother) that she won't ever understand, even in the long run. Why? Because she's a dumb animal. Cats nor any other animal have that sort of perspective. She sleeps all day. She's sleeping right now. I should toss her in a bathtub of water right now and screw up her whole day. But I won't. She looks too cute right now. Freakin' cat.

Her persepective of reality and life itself is small, if existent at all. She sleeps. She gets fed. She goes outside to chase bugs. She poops in a box of scented sand. A very very very small world if you ask me. But you didn't, so I digress.

OR DO I? Look, doesn't anyone ever get mad at their pet? And when I say mad, I don't mean, "Lichtenstien! I can't believe you peed everywhere! My vintage He-man action figure collection is ruined!". No, I mean envious. A burning hatred of the easy going life those animals lead. Look at Annie (figuratively. I know she's not visible to you). She sleeps. Yet, she has all the benefits. She eats for free. She has free room and board. Free medical. Free spa/massage treatment. And she sleeps! And she will have all those benefits for the rest of her life. I sometimes think about putting her back out into the wild. Fend for herself. She'll die, you say? Too bad, she shouldn't have been so freaking lazy. I've tried to train her to be a vicious attack cat but with no avail.

Okay, now I digress. Now I shove that mangy animal underwater.

New Things. Not So New Things. Heck, Let's Be Honest Here, Nothing's Really Changed.

Just spent roughly three hours looking for jobs in St. Louis filling out applications with tedious questionaires. Somebody should get back to me about SOMETHING...

Also the house phone rang about 7 times today. None of which were jobs which I've applied for the last few days. I let all of them go to the answering machine. These roofers and solicitors need to stop calling. I don't enjoy false hope, which is immediately burned alive (screaming) when they leave a useless (to me) message. Or just hang up once the robotic answering machine voice finishes it's speech.

Ugh.

In other news, I've added a new goal to the already long list of life goals I have for myself: I plan to marry a girl who is not native born to America. Sorry American women. I'm sure there are some nice Italian men out there. But those foreign women are going to have to wait. I've got some stuff to get out of the way (live outside of the country, tame bears, build log cabins, write four famous novels, compose the greatest rock album, start and lead churches...to name a few).

Other than that, nothing has really changed. I still live, breathe. I continue to read. Coffee is still a drug of choice, but I have yet to abandon tea.

Spring is here. That's for sure. I love summer, so seeing that nature is finally getting it together makes me feel not so dreary. Life isn't quite as bleak right now, and maybe there is hope for the future. Sun has been hanging out a lot too. His mother now allows him to stay outside and play after six o' clock. Happy times are ahead.

Also, in two weeks I will be traveling towards the west. My mother and I plan to visit her side of the family for a week at the start of April. I'm in rapture. I need to leave St. Louis, if only for a bit. Plus, I love Idaho. I may even plan to stay there and tell my mom to sell the return ticket. I'll let you know whatever happens. Maybe I'll update while I'm there. The mountains may give me a new breath of creativity.

Sorry if that was boring. Its just been so long since I last wrote on this thing.

Anyway, more to come.