Thanks

 Once again, been a while. For my dear followers, if any, my plan is to write more on here. It'll be a lot like going back to the gym, or jogging around the block. Slow, embarrassing, and some fat rolls may poke out from under the tattered "work out shirt", but all in an effort to get in shape. I always respect people who look very out of shape, yet jog through the park or neighborhood. I'm always inclined to shout a word of encouragement, but don't want to come off as sarcastic or condescending. Maybe I should look past that fear.

The last time I was on here I ranted and raved about the, at the time, new Star Wars movie. Since then, there's been more movies and now a streaming TV series. However, I will not rant, rave or critique today. Today's objective is pursuing the thought of gratitude. We'll see how that goes. 

I may be very late in the game to be the first to say, "2020 has been a tumultuous year". Actually, I'm sick and tired of hearing about how it's been one bummer of a year. Yes, it has. There's no doubt. Like many others, I started this year never hearing the word "Coronavirus". Those were the days. Then it started picking up buzz, but it was one of those things that was far away. Then it came to the U.S., then to our fair state of Missouri. I went from never hearing "COVID-19" and "Coronavirus" to hearing them more in the past year than words like "The" in my entire life. And of course once it took up a comfortable residence in our vernacular, things really started to shake up. Lockdowns, work from home, furloughs, lay offs, to which I myself had to experience. Then phrases such as "Practice safe social distancing", "Unprecedented times", and "(Insert holiday/event) is going to look a little different this year" were uttered ad nauseum. For a time I saw very few people, and even now don't see my friends very often. Concerts and public fairs and festivals cancelled. Not to mention all the ill and dying from the outbreak. The political discord that sprang up. And that was just the pandemic. Let us not forget the fires in Australia, bombing in Beirut, injustice happening on American streets, riots, and of course, one of, if not THE, zaniest presidential elections in U.S. history. Yes, folks, what a year it has been.

With all of that, it's hard to look past and hope, or try to seek out what was actually "good" during all of it. That's what I've been trying to get to as this year carries on. Some of the good.

Thanksgiving was two days ago. As with every year, it's a time to spend with family, friends, and look back on all the blessings. This Thanksgiving, more than ever, has probably compelled us to look at what we're grateful for. I'll start with myself. Devoted readers, you can think about what has moved you toward a heart of gratitude as well. In fact, I encourage it.

This past year I was laid off due to COVID-19 ravaging the American economy, specifically for the travel and hospitality industries. I was laid off pretty early on, so I remained at home with our one-year-old daughter while my wife continued to go into work, her specific position necessitating it while almost everyone else at her office went to WFH. As you can imagine, I spent a lot of time with my daughter. A LOT. At times, exhausting, what with everything going on. I tried to remember, however, all the time I was spending with her was time I would never get back. It was a time, and still is, to build a foundation, a connection to my daughter.  I got to take her to the park during the summer and fall. I got to watch her grow into a little toddler. I learned, too, that she lives only for the moment. What a lesson to learn right now. She would be on the swing, smiling, maybe laughing, and that was it. She was in a kind of Zen bliss. I would still check my phone, or think (ha, who are we kidding - "worry") about other things. But she wouldn't. There was no past. There wasn't any future. Just that singular moment of pure, child-like joy. God bless her. She'll never realize it, but she helped me to stay grounded through this. Sure, I had my bouts of emotion and depression, but I don't think I would have gone through all this near as easily without her. 

Aside from her, there's family. I am truly grateful to our little family. I've spoken of my daughter, but my wife as well. She has struggled hard through this, and at times we were kind of suffering simultaneously. Money was tight and still is. We're trying to raise a toddler during a pandemic. Still, she works hard for us, and has spent a lot of time over the last several months to help me search for jobs and hunt down connections while I spend a lot of time taking care of our little girl. I think we've both been a rock to one another at different times, and our sanity has wavered to and fro, but I'm thankful to have a strong woman like her alongside me, even if sometimes she herself drives me to the edge of insanity. Comes with the territory of these strange times.

Then there's our respective families. Her parents live very close, and so have relieved me from caring for our daughter to either search for jobs, interview, get things done around the house, or just to give me a moment to sit and catch my breath. My parents, who live slightly further, have also made time to spend with our daughter, which offers a bit of a break. 

There's also been a lot of time to reflect, whether that be personal values, flaws that are now highlighted by a stressful and exhausting situation, or where my true friendships and relationships lie. Old friends have shown up to talk again and reform old bonds. Lots of good long talks with some of those people.

If I've learned anything this year, be grateful and don't complain. Or at least, complain less. I started this year tired and rather discontented, and quite honestly I don't really remember any reason why. Then COVID-19 happened, a situation that required what little was left of my being over the course of  8 months and counting. I wish I had valued 2019 and where my life was at a little more. Hindsight is 20/20 (haha - little joke there). There's been a lot of moaning and complaining, but I'm trying real hard to get to that place of consistent gratitude. Peace. That's another. Be at peace, at all times, because it can change for better or worse at any given moment. Find the peace in the moment, in the situation. "Embrace the chaos" is another phrase I've heard through this, yet that has a little bit more meaning and use than the others.

A scripture I've been thinking about through this year harbors these very revelations. Philippians 4:4-8:

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace off God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable -- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy -- think about such things.

Rejoice. Rejoice always. What a tall order. Sulking is easier, or at least seemingly easier. Turn on your streaming service of choice and mindlessly scroll through social media while sitting on the couch until all the noise of the world becomes a dull hum. That'll get us through it. That'll make it easier. I haven't come down from the mountain enlightened or anything, trust me. I've just been there and know what doesn't work (for me). Right now, I have a notion that having a mind of peace and gratitude will get me through. However, putting that into practice is a different beast to battle altogether. That part I'm still working out, and some days are worse than others. 

Hoping that everyone had a great Thanksgiving. I hope that you took time to realize the things you need to be grateful for, in spite of everything. And if not, you have the chance to do so tomorrow, and throughout the days to come. 

All the best.