Motivation.

Alright. So it's been awhile. Forgive me.

I was beginning to wonder if something happened to me as well. "Oh no...what if Michael is in a ditch somewhere with two broken legs and we can't hear him? Oh, wait..."

I wanted to post something back in December. Really, I did. Then I realized it wasn't worth it and that I could just call up David (undoubtedly my most loyal...and really only...blog follower) whenever I had something of worth to talk about. Then I kind of tickled the notion of maybe, POSSIBLY, posting back in January. Once again, couldn't bring myself to log on, stare at the computer idlely until something great popped into my head to type about. But today I figured, "I'm here...why not."

So welcome back! Big news right now...the blog, if you hadn't noticed already, is officially a year old. I thought about getting him a cake so he could slop around in it and then I could video tape the whole thing and show it to him later to embarrass him, but then I realized the blog is not a living entity (In spite of the title).

Still serving the Tea Lords in an endless effort to bring precious capital into their establishment. It's tough because I find little to no reason to give all my effort. When I don't recieve acknowledgement or praise or really any sort of value in my work, I tend to not care quite as much. Especially when constantly it's my weaknesses that are being highlighted and very, very rarely my strengths. Not to say that my pride and ego need to be inflated constantly. Or maybe they do and that's a shortcoming on my part, but I think we should get some return for our work even if it is, "Hey, good job".

It could be that I'm just soft and whiny. Some people never get recognition, work hard week after week, coming home tired with little time or energy left for hobbies or people.

That's the reason there hasn't been a post on here in three months. Lack of motivation. It's like I need some end goal, or something of worth to keep me going otherwise I feel like whatever I'm doing is just killing time and I don't want to kill time because I don't need to. I have things to do, people to meet, places to see, escape plans to make, one life to live. If there is no purpose or value I feel as if it's a waste (Says the man who spends countless hours on Facebook).

I will try to diligently continue to post on this site though. No matter how many people see this I need to understand that this is working the writer that is slowly wasting away inside me. This blog is like practicing scales on an instrument, stretches and exercises before a big run or game, a sketchbook for the artist. There's a muscle in my brain that will need constant training and development, so if I can just focus on that I'll be more willing to post on here.

No if I could just do the same for when I work in the Tea Mines of Moria...